Stoping freaking out

I have been a pretty succesful girl for now. I was brilliant at school, succeded to almost all the admission exams for schools I applied to. But those are child’s win : I always had somebody to relie on if I was in trouble, and even if I had to choose options, I was guided by the paths set for young people.

Now I’m nearly 28. I still have some people I can relie on if I need to (fortunately), but the guided path stop here for me. The ones which exist would bring me to find a job, work a lot, marry, have kids and wait for retirement. You guessed : that’s not what I want. So I have to design a desirable future for me.

And I am distraught. What if I can’t do it ? Where to start ?

I am actually quite glad I missed the job opportunity I applied to. It would have delayed this reflexion. But for this reflexion to be serene, I would need not to worry about having enough money to live until I can finish it. I saved some money in the past year, but what if it’s not enough ?

I’m pretty pissed that french people just elected as president a man who want to pressure even more people who need help. That does’t make me confident at all.

You can call me a privileged boo-hooing girl. You can : I am one. I have plenty of people who can still help me and make me feel secure. That’s why I must gather my minds, stop crying and being afraid, face this problem coldly and come up with a solution.

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